Holes
by DemiGodsAreMyLife
Summary: One-Shot. A collection of Annabeth's thoughts and feelings throughout the series. It mainly just focuses on her thoughts on who she loves, though. Read to find out :


A/N: hey guys(: I'm new to FanFiction; this is my first story! I'm really not that good of a writer, but I LOVE PJO and I had this stuck in my head so I decided to publish it. Sorry if it sucks :( oh well, read and enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: Yeah, i'm pretty sure by now we ALL know that no one on here owns PJO. Sorry, but I am not the Amazing Rick Riordan. :D

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Annabeth's POV

Holes ~

Luke.  
I would blush at the sound of his name. I got butterflies in pit of my stomach when he flashed me that brilliant smile, and those amazing blue eyes twinkled. I felt lonely when I wasn't with him.  
I loved him so much.  
He was like a big brother to me, always teaching me new things, and protecting me when I needed it.  
But I wanted something more  
Something more than what we had, as close friends. I'm sure that Luke loved me….but I wasn't sure if it was in the same way that I loved him. I had a crush on Luke since…well, probably since when I first met him. I wonder if he knows the way that I love him. I wonder if he'll ever know. Although having him as just a friend was great, I was sure I'd always have this hole in my heart from not being…more.  
But I kept quiet about it.

Then, during the summer I was twelve, a boy about my age shows up at camp.  
His name is Percy Jackson.  
He's quite dense, and I'm actually not really sure why I decided to become friends with him.  
Especially after I found out his father is Poseidon!  
Our godly parents hate each other. No wonder he is so dumb.  
Anyway, I think I tolerated him just because he was offered a quest, and I've wanted to go out into the real world ever since I was seven.  
I wish Luke could come with us on this quest instead of that stupid, impulsive….Seaweed Brain.  
But while we were on the quest, I got to know Percy. He's not that bad of a guy. Despite my first impression of him, he's not stupid. He's just…slow. And he makes decisions without really thinking them through. But he's a really good fighter, and he sticks up for his friends. He's fiercely loyal.  
Percy is actually a pretty good friend.

But my whole world was turned upside down when we returned home to Camp.  
Luke….had betrayed us. He's working with Kronos. They want to start a war of the gods. And Luke left.  
But doesn't he care?  
What about getting to camp with me and Thalia when I was seven? What about his promise that we were family?  
What about me?  
I can't even bring myself to believe it. No. This CAN'T be real. That's not the Luke I know.  
Next to that small hole in my chest from us not being something more, an even bigger, almost unfixable one forms.  
I tried not to think about it though. I mean, after all, he did betray us.  
But I can't help that little voice inside my head that says there's good in him.

The next summer, Percy and I go on another quest.  
We became even closer.  
I'm really starting to like him, even though he's a son of Poseidon.  
He's courageous, funny, and good-looking. He has gorgeous, messy black hair that sticks out in random directions and these mesmerizing green eyes the color of the ocean.  
Wait, what?  
I couldn't believe I was even thinking these thoughts!  
Whatever.  
So Percy and I became close.  
I still wish I had Luke, though.

At the end of camp that summer, we had a chariot race. Percy and I worked together. Since Athena invented the chariot and Poseidon created the horses that pull it, we actually made a pretty good team. We ended up winning the race. While all the other campers were cheering for us, I leaned over and, just in the spirit that we had won, placed a small but sweet kiss on Percy's cheek. I intended it purely out of friendship, and I'm sure that's all it was, but I couldn't help the tingling sensation on my lips after I removed them from Percy's cheek. Butterflies were turning in my stomach, and I felt a strange warm feeling in my heart.  
This confused me.  
I mean, after all, I knew deep down I still loved Luke.  
Besides, that little kiss was just, I don't know, like, a victory kiss. For winning the race.  
So I pushed the strange happy feeling I got aside.

The following winter, when me, Percy, and some others went on a quest, Artemis made an offer to me – to become a huntress. I would be immortal, fourteen forever, serving Artemis, and turning my back on stupid boys.  
The offer seemed pretty tempting, but then I looked at Percy's face. He was pale, and looked scared. _But of what?_ I thought.  
_Of losing me.  
_And then I thought about how close we'd become.  
And I thought, _No. _I couldn't leave him.  
I was really starting to think I had feelings for Percy Jackson.  
But of course, I'd never admit that to anybody. Ever.

Then I was captured and forced to hold up the weight of the sky.  
And when Percy rescued me, something happened.  
I was so used to people abandoning me – my mother, Thalia, Luke – but Percy came.

Percy came for me. He didn't abandon me.

And suddenly, those holes in my heart, the ones that Luke created, didn't seem quite so large anymore.

Percy was there for me.

And that following summer when I got the thing I've wanted since I was seven – my own quest – Percy was there for me too. He was there comforting me when I was scared something would happen to someone in our group (even though I was mostly scared of losing him, but I'd never tell him that). He was there to protect me and help me like always.

And it was that summer, on Mount St. Helens when I thought he was going to die and I kissed him, that I finally admitted to myself what I've been feeling for a while.

I'm in love with Percy Jackson.

Of course, I still had a little hole in my heart from when I thought I loved Luke, but a lot had changed since then. Percy and I had been there for each other, saved each other's lives, and became best friends.  
A part of me still believed that Luke was good deep down. But I wasn't longing for his love like before. I had fallen for this Kelp Face of a demigod who's supposed to save the world.  
And those two weeks after our kiss on Mount St. Helens when he didn't return to Camp, and I thought I lost him, well those were probably the worst two weeks of my life.  
I'd lost Luke already, but now Percy too? The thought was too much to bear.

So when we had his funeral, and I saw him approaching – looking into those sea green eyes and knowing he was okay – it was all I could do not to fall to the ground, weeping and thanking each and every one of the gods that he was alive.  
And then I figured out why it took him so long to show up to Camp.  
He didn't exactly tell me, but it wasn't too hard to figure out which island he was marooned on.  
Calypso.

It made my heart sink to the pit of my stomach to know that – for two whole weeks – he had actually considered leaving everything behind. He'd considered leaving the Camp, his mom, the war against Kronos, and…me. He'd considered leaving me.  
How could I be so stupid? I should have known he would have ended up abandoning me in the end. All the people who "loved me" did. Athena, Thalia, Luke…and now Percy, too.

But I thought Percy was different!

I was a stupid girl.  
As if to prove my point, he insists we bring along his stupid mortal friend, Rachel Elizabeth Dare on our quest. She is weird. She looks weird, she dresses weird, she acts weird, and she looks like she doesn't know what a hairbrush is! She is SO annoying and dumb. And mortal. Whereas I'M a demigod. Just like Percy. I got so angry and jealous whenever she's with him.  
I WAS just a stupid girl on Mount St. Helens. Percy would never love me back. The holes in my heart once again got bigger.  
We remained pretty distant the rest of the summer.

And then the summer after that….

That was the summer of the big war against Kronos. The war where Percy was supposed to either save or destroy the world on his sixteenth birthday.  
We were still kind of distant because of all that happened the previous summer – our relationship was still pretty complicated. I still had some holes in my heart.  
But nonetheless, we were there for each other as always.

And I started to notice things in Percy, too, like the way he'd look at me. Sometimes I'd catch him staring, and then he'd just turn away, blushing.  
And before we went into battle, he asked me for a "kiss for luck," and said it was a tradition. _Mount St. Helens._ So maybe that did mean something to him…  
He also told me where his Achilles spot was. You're not supposed to tell anyone your Achilles spot.  
I guess you could say that made me feel really special. It felt good to know that he really trusted me.  
And then the way he held my hand after he told me about the spot on the small of his back. For some reason, in that moment I knew, despite all the chaos going on with the war – and even just between us – I knew I wasn't alone. That we loved each other, and there was no avoiding it. It was simply fate.

And on Percy's sixteenth birthday, when he had the courage to hand the knife over to Luke, I learned I was right all along.  
At heart, Luke was still the same guy I had once loved. He was good at deep down. He died a hero.  
And before he died, when he asked me if I loved him, I told him the truth. That there was a time when I thought I did, I thought I needed him to fill the holes in my heart. And although I did love him, it was brotherly love. My heart truly lies with only one guy.

One Seaweed Brain of a guy.

And up on Mount Olympus, when the gods were rewarding us for our bravery, they offered Percy the chance to become a god.  
My heart nearly stopped beating.  
I felt all the color drain from my face and I started panicking on the inside. I couldn't meet his eyes. Or I'd lose it – I'd start bawling and run over to him and beg him not to go.  
And then he said no. There were no words to describe the overwhelming joy and relief I felt in that moment. So many times, I had been close to losing Percy, like everyone else close to me in my life, but he just kept coming back.

And when we finally kissed that day, it was amazing. It was different than Mount St. Helens, which was almost like a good-bye kiss. This kiss was a beginning. It was the start of something that I'd been waiting for for a long time.  
And it was then that I knew that, although I'd always miss Luke, there was no longer a gaping hole in the middle of my heart, longing for a lost love.

Because I knew that as long as I had Percy, I would be happy.

And I didn't have to worry about feeling jealous over people like Rachel anymore. Because now I know that even if Rachel wasn't the Oracle, Percy had always loved me. _I _was the one he thought of in the River Styx, _I _was the one who grounded him to mortality, and _I_ was the reason he gave up being a god.

And he's the reason the holes in my chest were finally starting to mend themselves.

These thoughts – of how our relationship grew from dislike, to a strong friendship, to a complicated friendship, to now, finally, this – ran through my brain as I felt a very familiar pair of arms snake around my waist and a very familiar pair of lips press against my cheek.

"Hey Wise Girl," Percy whispered softly into my ear.  
I turned around to face him and wrapped my arms around his neck.  
"Hi Seaweed Brain," I said.  
He smiled and leaned down to kiss me.  
And I know that no matter what happens, no matter what we face, we'll make it.  
Because Percy won't abandon me, he'll always come looking for me.  
And now, in his embrace, I feel safe and warm, knowing one thing will always be true.

Percy will be there for me.

We broke apart and he looked at me, his beautiful sea green eyes soft and deep.  
"I love you, Annabeth."  
I smiled at him. "I love you too, Percy."

And all the holes are gone.


End file.
